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Archive for the ‘Ways to Keep a Man’s Interest’ Category

How to Keep a Man’s Interest: Don’t Embarrass Him.

Vargas

This should be rather obvious, but I see a lot of women doing foolish things that embarrass their men. Sometimes we don’t even know we are doing these things. I am not talking about accidentally tripping over your shoes when you are out. Accidents happen now and then. No. Some of the following examples illustrate what I mean.

Being drunken or intoxicated does not leave your man feeling proud of you (and it should not leave you feeling proud of yourself, either!)

Nagging him in front of others is not only embarrassing to him, but no one likes to be nagged.

Putting him down in front of others by laughing at him, making derogatory remarks, pointing out faults, or making a joke of him is not only embarrassing, but rude as well.

Arguing with him in front of others is equally unpleasant.

Assuming that he is not capable of remembering things, taking care of situations, or looking after himself is insulting and embarrassing.

Phoning him at work, or while he is out with friends, over very trivial issues is embarrassing to him, too.

Being clingy, over-emotional, needy, and whiny is something that you should be embarrassed about, but it certainly embarrasses him, especially when such behaviours are displayed in front of others.

Making a scene when you are in company is another cause of embarrassment.

Complaining that the gift he has just given you is too cheap, or not your favourite colour, for example, is embarrassing, and rude.

There are many more examples, but I am quite sure that the above list will give you a rather clear idea!

What Men Like: Confidence.

Vargas

Men find confident women sexy.  There is something inherently attractive about a woman who is confident about her sense of self.  This confidence is reflected in the way a woman walks, carries herself, speaks, thinks, and behaves.

There is a great deal of difference between confidence and arrogance.  Confidence is akin to a hidden beauty, reflected in everything you do.

If you feel you lack confidence, then do something about it. There are plenty of courses and workshops that deal with gaining confidence and working on self-esteem.

A confident woman is alluring and sexy.  Really.

What Men Like: A Sense of Humor.

Vargas

Men enjoy a woman who can make them laugh; who has a sense of humor and fun.  Men enjoy being around a woman who can and will laugh with them, is carefree now and then, can be flirty, playful, and full of joy.

You really do not have to be serious all the time.  Besides, laughter is great for you.

What Men Like: Intelligence.

Vargas

Yes, dear readers.  Men like women who are smart. Men really are not intimidated by intelligent women. It makes communication so much easier, and allows for intelligent, lively, and interesting conversation. You do not need to be a member of MENSA but, really, a smart woman is a sexy creature, indeed.

Some of the Things That Men Find Attractive About a Woman.

Vargas

We often hear about what visual creatures men are.  There is no denying this.  Men are stimulated by the visual.  However, today’s journal entry does not stop at pointing this out ;)

Certainly, men like attractive women.  However, a man’s version of what he finds physically attractive is entirely his own choice and really does come down to personal preference.

Did you know that men also like a well-groomed woman who knows how to take care of herself?

Men also like watching the way that a woman moves. A woman who can sway those hips in a delightful and charming way (and this can always be achieved when wearing stilettos ;) ) will certainly attract their attention.  Don’t over-do it.  You do not want to give the wrong impression, but good posture and a sexy walk are always appreciated ;)

Now, let’s move away from the physical and look at the things that are found inside a person.

Men like intelligent women. You do not need to be a genius but please forget that old story about ‘playing dumb’.   It is insulting to yourself and to men to ‘play dumb’.  Men like real women.  Honest women.  A woman who ‘plays’ at being stupid is not being honest, or real.

Men also like a good sense of humour.  A woman who can be funny, witty, entertaining, and playful is always nice to be around.  A good sense of humour is a sexy trait, indeed.

Vargas

A woman with a confident sense of sexual self-awareness is also appealing to a man.  Enjoy your body, and your sexuality and become confident and comfortable with both.  It is nothing to be ashamed of.

One of the most sexy of all traits to a man, however, is a woman with confidence.  I am not talking about being snooty, or arrogant, or a demanding, aggressive ‘Diva’.  No, no, no!  Confidence is gorgeous to a man.  It really, really is.

When He Hurts Your Feelings: Effective Communication is Key

Vargas

So, your man has hurt your feelings? This happens now and then.

We women have a tendency to be incredibly emotional creatures.  There is nothing wrong with that but, there are good and bad ways to tell your man that he has done this.

Unless you are with a man who is abusing you in many ways and who you should leave, report to the authorities, and get away from as quickly as possible (and is not the sort of man or situation that I am referring to here!) there is a very good chance that your man did not mean to hurt your feelings.  In some cases, he may not have even realised that he did. A man who genuinely cares for you wants to know if he has hurt you.  Of course he wants to know! He wants to know, so that he can take steps to fix the situation, or try to avoid doing so again. You matter to him, remember? However, there is a right and wrong way to go about letting him know how you feel at times like this.

Clear communication is key.  Men do not like ‘drama’.  Even if he loves you a great deal, a man will shy away from you the minute you start to tearfully accuse him, or insult him, or yell and scream and rant at him because you are upset.  Men really do not like such emotional displays.  Perhaps you have decided to give him ‘the silent treatment’, instead?  There is a good chance that, if a man does not recognise this as a passive-aggressive display of anger on your part, he will simply think that you wish to be left alone, and will not approach you.

No.  Calm yourself down first before approaching him on the matter.  No tears, no accusations, no emotional displays. Wait until you are calm and, once you are, express yourself in a clear, emotionless, and honest way.  Tell him that you are feeling upset and why, as concisely as possible.  There is no need to go into hours worth of detail, either!  That is equally ineffective.

Resist the urge to accuse him; as if he knew that he was hurting you.  Do not say, for example, “You love making me feel bad about myself”, or “You say you love me? Well, you obviously don’t because you just said…”  Remember, he may not have even realised that he had hurt your feelings, so don’t assume that he knows or has done so deliberately!  This kind of accusation will also put him on the ‘defensive’ straight away, and you want to resolve the conflict, don’t you?  Once both of you are angry, or he has fled the situation in order to escape the ‘drama’, conflict resolution is very difficult to achieve, now, isn’t it?

Avoid ‘absolutes’, too.  Saying things like “You always say…” or, “You do this all the time…” are examples of ‘absolutes’.  These should be avoided when you speak with him.

Men really do appreciate being approached calmly.  They are more likely to listen to you, tackle the situation, and work on resolving it if you can talk to them calmly, and explain why you feel the way that you do.

Try it the next time you find yourself in a situation like this.  If you are used to crying, and accusing your man, or getting angry at him when you are hurt, wait until you are calm and see if you get more effective results by doing so.

I am certainly not telling you that you have no right to be upset, or hurt, or angry in a situation in which you feel hurt. Your own feelings are important.  No,  I am simply saying that you will have a much more productive conversation that leads to resolution if you can approach your man about how you feel in a calm and rational way.

Leave the ‘drama’ in the theatrical realms, where it belongs, and approach the task at hand in an honest and clear way.  It really does make such a lot of difference.

The Mistress.

How to Keep a Man’s Interest: Don’t Nag Him!

Alberto Vargas

This should be very easy to understand, but so many women seem to ignore this simple fact.  No one likes to be nagged.  Men are guilty of doing this too, but women seem to have turned ‘nagging’ into an art form!

Each time you continue to nag a man to do something, you not only annoy him, sound like a CD that has a scratch on it and is stuck making the same noise over and over, but you are likely to do little more than leave him feeling resentful.  In bad cases, you also risk having a man simply ‘tune out’ the sound of your voice, so you are really not heard at all!

There are correct ways to ask someone to do something, without needing to ask again, and again!

Now, say that you want the garbage taken out, or a door hinge fixed?  This is a new century.  Can you do these things, yourself?  There really are no reasons why a woman cannot fix a door hinge!  Did you know that, as feminine as I am, I have a tool set?  Not one of those silly little ‘female tool sets’ that have screwdrivers and hammers with pink handles on them!  No.  I have a good quality tool set that some men would be envious of ! This set encompasses everything from screwdrivers of different sorts, spanners, wrenches, and allen keys, right through to sprocket sets, power tools of different sorts, and even a chainsaw (a two-stroke one! No ‘electric’ chainsaws for this Mistress!)  My tool set is vast, and to list all of them here would be time-consuming and unnecessary. Now, not only do I have these tools; I know how to use them!  Knowing how to use tools adds to your own sense of independence, and really does not detract from your femininity, you know?

So, doing these things yourself is an option available to you. However if, for whatever reason, the task at hand really does require the physical strength that men have an abundance of, you must ask him to help.  Ask him.  Asking is not nagging.  If he is taking his time to do what it is that you require, then explain why it is important to you.  Don’t just repeat the phrase over and over!

Clear, concise communication is key here.  Saying “move the kitchenette”, “when are you going to move the kitchenette?”, “I told you to move the kitchenette”, “When are you going to move the kitchenette?”, “Why don’t you move the kitchenette?”, “You said you would move the kitchenette” is both annoying (just reading that series of quotes is certainly annoying me!), but it is says nothing about why you want him to move it to begin with.  Simply explain that you cannot move the kitchenette because you do not have the muscular strength to do so yourself, tell him that it will make you very happy if he does it, and explain that you really will appreciate him for doing so (and you should appreciate someone who helps you out!), and leave it at that.  You have communicated clearly, explained your reasoning, and provided a logical reason as to why you are unable to complete the task yourself!  And men are logical creatures, dear reader!

A man is far more likely to assist you if you do not nag him! And it avoids creating a sense of resentment within the relationship, too.

I am not suggesting that you do everything yourself, and never bother a man to help you.  Relationships should be fair.  All I am saying is that nagging gets you nowhere, and is not conducive to a positive relationship with your partner.

The Mistress.

How to Keep a Man’s Interest: Listen to Him.

Alberto Vargas

I also mentioned this point in my journal entry.

“Listen to him”

Listening to him serves several purposes.  It shows that you are genuinely interested in him (or leads you to decide that you are not a good match after all).  It will let you know (if you have read my entry on ‘what he really means when he says’) what he is saying to you, and you will get to learn all sorts of things about him!

Need I really say any more, here?

How to Keep a Man’s Interest: Be Mysterious.

Alberto Vargas

This post discusses the following  points from my journal entry:

“Do not discuss your problems,…”

“Do not offer all the minute details about your own life and your past.  Some things are best kept to yourself, and are not necessary to reveal to another person.”

and

“Be unattainable, mysterious, “

The first two quotes all add to the final one, and create a sense of mystery about you.  They are also covered in my section on how to lose a man, so I won’t repeat myself here.

By being a mystery, you will always keep him guessing.  You will always be entertaining, alluring, and worthy of chasing.  Once he knows everything about you, what is left for him to learn, hmm?

Men love a mystery.  Give him what he loves ;)

How to Keep a Man’s Interest: The Importance of Grooming.

Alberto Vargas

Next on the list is:

“Make sure that your personal grooming, and hygiene are impeccable at all times.”

This really should be self explanatory.  Look your best, from your underwear right through to your makeup and hair.  If you look gorgeous, how can he resist you, hmm?

And really, who wants to be around a smelly, unkempt, dirty woman who does not care enough about herself to keep herself healthy and clean?

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